I think being a parent is an area of my life which presents a deep opportunity for growth and awareness. I have been humbled by my mistakes and enlightened by the teaching that my kids have held for me. I deeply want the best for my kids and I also want to shield them from the pain that I experienced. I often held the belief that because I was older and had life experience, it gave me permission to impose my beliefs onto my children. This belief would often lead to conflict.
This week Robin Williams gave us the gift of a collective wake up call. Will we press the snooze button? We could easily have a discussion about any of the following topics; suicide, depression, anxiety, loneliness the list goes on. All of the topics I just mentioned are symptoms, that invite us to look a little deeper. I have spent a lot of time this week reflecting on how I have felt over the years and how far I have come. To be honest its difficult to truly connect to what
Over the years it has become easier to openly share my stories and my fears and feel like I have nothing to hide. While this is my truth, it is most certainly not everyone's truth. I had forgotten how difficult it can be to share with others and be vulnerable. Creating a safe space where authentic sharing and reflection can happen is a real passion of mine. Fire represents the intense courage and risk required to be authentic, open and present in our interactions. When the person you are speaking to opens their heart and lets down their shield a different fire begins
Typically when we say "Yes" to something we are indicating agreement. When communicating with someone it can be difficult to hold a space of agreement depending upon what is being shared. There may be a values conflict or what is being shared may trigger a past experience that we have had. So how do we maintain presence for the speaker when we can't "be" with what is being shared?
Disclaimer :-) Even though I am writing and sharing about this topic, I am still very much a student. That's a nice way of saying; I am human, have made lots of mistakes and have and will continue to be an ass at times in my relationships.... So here is some of what I've learned up until now!
Whether we encounter someone in an intimate relationship or have to work on a project with a co-worker or are planning something with a friend. What I am sharing will apply to any relationship.
Being accountable is about taking action towards your ability to respond (response-ability). I think we have all been there, in the heat of the moment we say or do something that we feel cannot be taken back. Swallowing your pride can be really difficult as can losing a friendship. On a deeper level our relationships serve as a "mirror" for personal growth. We continue to react to that mirror until we own what we are seeing in the mirror.
There is a burning desire / need within me that for the most part is going unmet. I apologize in advance, this might be a bit of an honest rant. The deal is, that I am totally human and perfectly imperfect. For example, in regards to this Blog post, my inner critic had a bit of a field day. Write it , don't write it. You are a hypocrite if you write that. You won't be teaching anything, it's just a rant. Back and forth.
Life can be messy and in those wonderful situations that life presents us there are always gifts that eventually present themselves. Your rocks, are those things that keep you anchored when things are tough. Your rocks are the things. you absolutely believe in, that can sometimes keep you stuck. Your rocks can represent your core needs.