Do You, Love You?

My late Mother always said to me "You have to love yourself before you can love others". I realize now that I did not have any depth or understanding of that statement. At this point in my life, I have a deeper understanding of what loving myself can mean. My current definition would be that loving myself is about embracing and accepting the peace that is and always has existed within me. I experience love as a deep, spacious, open knowing that expands from within me and connects to all that is around me. In relationship with others I have felt an excited and heightened energy which makes me feel really alive. I question whether this feeling is a part of the peaceful love I feel or something entirely different.

The moment you understand the importance of loving yourself, you will stop hurting others." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

If I travel back in time, I connect with the energy of what I now refer to as my inner critic or saboteur. This voice created so much inner turmoil within me. In turn, I carried this inner turmoil out into the world. This voice wanted me to be disconnected from myself, those around me and ultimately my world. The story aligned around the themes of; i'm not good enough, nobody loves me, nobody cares about me, life is not safe and many more. I allowed myself to react to the stories that were being created about situations and others. This created more proof that this voice was correct and created more turmoil in my outer world. Quite literally a vicious cycle that seemed like it would never end.

I believe that we live in a miraculous universe that is constantly trying to give us an opportunity to return to our natural state of love. Looking back I can see that every experience I had was an incremental step back to myself. The key was self acceptance. I now see my inner critic as the part of me that needs the most love. The part of me that is actually scared. The part of me that for whatever reason felt it could not have love. My inner critic is and always will be a part of who I am. We are in relationship together. What used to be days of turmoil now takes only minutes to bring to awareness.

When I encounter others that appear to be living through the lens of their inner critic. It stirs up a deep desire to share my love. A deep desire to shine the light of truth and share what I have experienced and know. Not just for them but for our world. I know that what is going on within me gets carried out into and effects the world I live in. If I am angry at myself, I will take that anger and share it with the cashier at the store when she makes a mistake. When their is an urge or desire for change in the world, their is likely the same desire for change in your inner world.

Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we'll ever do" ~Brené Brown

I realize now that what I used to label as an emptiness within me, that I would fill with distraction and addictions, is actually the spacious feeling of love that has been patiently waiting to be expanded and shared out into the world. When I am aware of my inner critic and connected to my values and purpose the journey is much smoother. Being able to create space for inner peace and self love is a beautiful shift.