I want to try and convey why I am inspired by Human Design and give you a deeper understanding of why it can be so powerful. As I begin to write this, I can feel this ball of energy that is very clear (to me) and also hard to describe. So this is me articulating what I am feeling. I have been working with others formally since 2006 as a life coach. I also feel like I started coaching long before that in my career. Since then, I have also worked in various roles and jobs. In recent years I have been working in the field of addiction. I have always had an intrinsic desire to help people realize who they really are and to gain an understanding of what that means.

When teaching someone about their Human Design chart, one of the first areas we discuss is Energy Type. So let’s start by clarifying what the word energy can mean in relation to your design and type. Energy refers to your physical, mental, and emotional energy levels. It also refers to your aura and energetic field and how this energy is exchanged with the world/universe. Energy also refers to how those around you experience you / feel you. Perhaps you can best relate to this with the example of having a reaction to someone who enters a room and feel drawn to them or possibly feeling repelled by their energy and not wanting to engage.

Lost at 40 (ish) happened for me, a few weeks before my 41st birthday. As a side note this can happen at 20 (ish) 30 (ish) etc. I had been on the path of personal growth and awareness for many years. At the time, I was working for Starbucks as a manager, I walked into the store like I had done so many times before, but this time was different. I experienced an intense feeling of anxiety in my heart and a deep knowing that I was done.... I could no longer continue on the path of working there; in an environment that I now know and understand, was completely overwhelming for my nervous system. I imagine that for others the only choice would have been to keep going, regardless of what my body was screaming. Luckily for me, in previous years I had been able to experience the contrast of following my heart vs. following a career.

I've been hearing about this thing called Self Love for years and to be honest it seemed like a bit of a mystery to me. In hindsight, this makes total sense because in reality I was really just stuck in a battle with my inner critic. My Mom always said for years that it was important to love myself but what in fact did that mean. I found it easy to love others and my kids and experiences but love myself? I understood the concept but putting it into practice was a different story. Then recently I was listening to a podcast and I think it was https://www.instagram.com/adam.roa/ Adam Roa that defined self-love as; "the end result of the relationship you have with yourself". 

I imagine that everyone can relate to having the desire to do something or even the inspiration to do something and yet be frozen and unable to step into action. Alternatively, there may be a difficult decision that you need to make. The common word that often shows up with either dilemma is procrastination. The moment we step into the realm of procrastination we also are inviting fear, guilt, and shame to come out and play. The other thing that happens here is a dance of extreme opposites. One side is the action steps needed and the other side is all the data that supports you not getting into action. This dance is unfortunately all too common for those of us who want to be creative and share this creativity with others.

Perhaps you can relate to trying to establish a boundary and then it gets crossed, which puts you in a position of needing to respond. As a reformed "Nice Guy" I believe I have more examples of this than I can even remember. I would put the value of preserving the relationship before my values and needs. The result would be an inability to respond appropriately when my boundaries were crossed. It also meant that I wasn't even certain of what my boundaries actually were.

Have you ever had that moment where you stop and ask yourself, "Why is this happening to me"? For me, this moment of pause would occur when I noticed that what was happening in my life had happened before, but with different characters. Why do we tolerate people, situations and things that cause us to struggle and contribute to our anxiety and stress?