I believe that we are here on this earth to experience being human. At the same time as we are being human, we are also uncovering our spirituality. An interesting paradox to live and experience. We look to teachers and positive messages to guide us and return us to wholeness. My observation is that in the process we are striving for perfection in a "spiritual" way which creates a different level of stress and imbalance. We may notice all that we are "not" as we seek spiritual growth and self awareness.
We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.” ~ Wayne Dyer
This morning I was looking through my journals and reflecting on some of the things I had experienced and learned. The thought crossed my mind, "Life is Messy". Then I reflected on the difficulty of allowing messiness in our lives. The very thought of allowing messiness probably stirs up your Inner Critic. What I am suggesting is likely similar to sinking into quicksand, the more we fight our reality the more we become stuck. Yet when we accept our circumstance we stop sinking. Carl Jung said "What you resist persists". The more we resist an experience, the more it intensifies and the more we allow the messiness, the greater the learning and awareness afterwards.
To clarify, when I say "Allowing Messiness", what I am referring to is on the other side of the situation that has happened. Rather than moving past the experience, choosing the brighter side, blaming others or resisting that it happened, take some time to "BE" in the messiness. In this place is where the learning happens and we get to experience our humanity and our imperfection. The world we live in is one of opposites and in experiencing one we come to know the other. A fish doesn't know water until it is out of the water.
5 Ways to Allow Messiness In Our Lives
Stop ~ This first step will take practice and will become easier over time. At some point press the pause button; stop telling the story, stop running away, stop spiraling, stop swimming up stream. Take a deep breath and catch yourself.
Feel Your Experience ~ Scan your body, what are you feeling and where. Tightness in your chest? Pain in your stomach? What feelings are attached to what you experienced? Anger, frustration, powerlessness etc. Take some time to identify what you are experiencing and acknowledge the feelings. Your feelings will give you insights as you connect to them.
Look In The Mirror ~ This is probably the hardest step. Looking in the mirror means taking responsibility for your role. Ask yourself. "What did I contribute to this situation? What could I do different next time? Is there a reoccurring theme in this situation? At the end of the day we can only change ourselves.
Be Gentle ~ Your inner critic will likely have a lot to say as you allow the messiness. In truth this is a great time to tell your inner critic to go sit in the corner. Be gentle on yourself, change takes time and this process is about acknowledging reality. Trust the process.
Baby Steps ~ I am a big believer in taking small steps. It's another part of being gentle. A small step is easier to take than no step. Change is incremental and even the slightest adjustment or action can have a great impact. Small steps are also easier to integrate and transfer into new habits.