 I came into this world with childlike innocence and wonder, trusting everyone and everything. Then at some point my world view began to change, it was no longer safe to simply be me. I started to judge myself based on the expectations and judgement of others. I started to compare myself to others and in this comparison made myself wrong. This inner story snowballed and silently affected my experiences and relationships. Then one day I started to question this story. Does this sound familiar? People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don't suffer anymore." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh I notice that when my clients get to the place of questioning their story an inner conflict arises. I often hear the statement, "I don't want to be selfish or self centred". This fear arises from years of self doubt and motivation to please and be like others. We don't want to be judged by others as we make decisions that are self empowering. These beliefs and stories are so embedded that it can be difficult to notice and choose a different action. The empowered view is actually "Centred in the Self". 5 Ways of Being Centred in the Self Accountable to self ~ I believe that I always have the opportunity to be accountable for everything that is happening in my life. I make decisions that put me into a situation and I also have the ability to make a choice that takes me out of a situation. Or, I am building awareness that is leading to my next choice. When I am centred in my self I question the role I played in every situation. What am I contributing to this situation? Aware of feelings ~ I trust my body as a guide to help me feel what is happening in my world. I allow myself to feel and notice what I am feeling and I am able to name that feeling. I allow the feeling to be present without judgement and I acknowledge it's presence. As I connect with the feeling I follow the thread of what it is telling me. I notice my surroundings and I check in with what may be contributing to the feeling. If I have a strong reaction to something based on a feeling, I look for my role in creating that feeling / situation. Connected to my truth ~ I am aware of myself and connected to all that is within me. My inner critic, my shadows, my values, my mission and my inner knowing / guides. I know that these things have always been patiently waiting for me to connect. This connection is my compass for how I show up and interact with my world. Honouring of others ~ As I connect with and know myself I have space to see and hear and honour others. I can see that what is occurring around me is not a judgement of me but rather everyone experiencing their own individual story. I react less and can hold space for others with love and compassion. After all I have walked in their shoes. Clear on the bigger picture ~ I know that we are all deeply connected. We are here on this earth having a human experience. I believe that there is something at play that is much larger than my experience and that I am connected to whatever that is. I see the inter connection of all things and relationships and I am grateful for the learning that comes from that awareness. I trust the flow of this life and I know that what I call my imperfections are the exact thing I am here to experience.
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Author
Ross Tayler 
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September 2022
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I gratefully acknowledge that I live, work and play on the unceded and traditional territories of the Syilx Nation – suknaqinx - (Northern Okanagan) territory.
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