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One of the cornerstones of the coaching model in which I studied, (The Coaches Training Institute) is that “People are Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole." In a nutshell this means; we are not broken, we don’t need fixing, all that we need is within us and we have the ability to overcome our circumstances. I love this cornerstone and when I’m coaching clients I am always tethered to this truth. For some strange reason, in everyday life it is much more challenging to remember.
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I had an interesting experience / awareness the other day. In recent months I have been getting clearer about some key questions surrounding my coaching practice. A lot of this awareness revolves around marketing and branding and message. In regards to sharing my message I have been experiencing some significant internal resistance, even though I am very excited about supporting clients and sharing. In discussing this situation with my pair bonded partner (this is a cool way to say girlfriend) she helped me to uncover an unconscious belief I had around marketing. I was a little surprised and at the same time relieved to bring this belief into the light.
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I recently had a conversation that gave me some powerful insight in regards to the human desire for purpose and meaning. Let’s start by connecting to the word. Personally, I notice the word “Purpose” being used all around me. While I do have some reservations about the word I do feel like it is easily relatable. That said you can easily interchange with any of the following; dharma, meaning, deepest desires, souls calling, nature, mission, truth etc. Whatever word calls to your heart, know that when I say “purpose” I am also referring to your word.
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Everyday in every moment, the story of your life is playing out. What genre is your story; comedy, action, drama, soap opera? What type of character are you playing in your story? Are there characters in your story that are needing to be written in and out? What is the sound track of your story? I believe that the most exciting part of your story may be waiting to be written. The script is always open to being revised and embellished. You are always able to change the genre and choose a different character to be you!
The invitation is to take some time to be with your script. Perhaps you could block off a period of time and reflect on your script. You could walk or sit in nature or you could find a quiet space to just be. Are you ready to create your plot twist?
The invitation is to take some time to be with your script. Perhaps you could block off a period of time and reflect on your script. You could walk or sit in nature or you could find a quiet space to just be. Are you ready to create your plot twist?
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I noticed over the years that when things were troubling me, I energetically carried them along on my journey. At some point I was given the metaphor of baggage that held all these experiences and stories. This metaphorical baggage, kept me connected to my past, weighed on me and prevented me from moving forward. I adapted and become comfortable with all the extra weight. When I became aware of the impact of this practice I found some different ways to release the energy. Going forward I created new ways to release situations as they occurred. Below you will find several of these. My suggestion would be to try the ones that feel right to you and incorporate whatever ritual or ideas come to you in the moment. Give yourself full permission to create your own process by following your intuition.
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Originally published in The Squamish Reporter January 15, 2016 www.squamishreporter.com
Scrap Your New Years Resolutions and make way for a new way of setting goals in 2016. The wonderful thing about resolutions is that the process of setting them, involves reflecting on what we want to create in the upcoming year. The majority of resolutions are not completed and some disappear as fast as they were created. There is literally an energetic historical heaviness that goes along with resolutions. It starts with a question. "Have you created any New Years resolutions"? When I observe people's body language as they answer the question it is fascinating. It looks as if every collective resolution that was never completed or swept under the carpet was placed on the persons back. Then the answer comes and you can hear the self doubt layered into the dialogue surrounding the stated resolution.
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The image on the left provides an interesting perspective. I suppose we would all interpret it differently. When I look at the message I feel like I am being told that if I stay in the smallness of my comfort zone that I will be missing out on something big. The only way that I will experience the "magic" is to step into the discomfort and push through something. What I really want exists outside of me and can only be accessed by stepping onto new ground. On another level it can be inspiring to broaden our perspective and move outside our habitual ways of being. There is an implied sense that there is something waiting for me, that will make my life more exciting and more complete. I actually believe that the magic happens "inside" your comfort zone.
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Years ago in one of my coaching courses the leader made this statement; "Fulfillment Is A Radical Act". I think I have written about this before, and tonight I am really inspired to write about this topic again. My radical act began almost 10 yrs ago after an interesting series of intuitions, signs and just the right support. I found myself sitting in the lobby of a hotel wondering whether I had made a good decision. Had I signed up for another Amway type of get rich quick scheme? Been there done that. I went upstairs to the room where the course was being held and sat down in one of the chairs. I was "all in" and at the same time curious about what I had signed up for. About 15 minutes into the course I took a deep breath and I could feel my heart smiling. I had found my tribe, my people, my calling. For the first time in my life I was excited about something and that something was co-active life coaching.
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My late Mother always said to me "You have to love yourself before you can love others". I realize now that I did not have any depth or understanding of that statement. At this point in my life, I have a deeper understanding of what loving myself can mean. My current definition would be that loving myself is about embracing and accepting the peace that is and always has existed within me. I experience love as a deep, spacious, open knowing that expands from within me and connects to all that is around me. In relationship with others I have felt an excited and heightened energy which makes me feel really alive. I question whether this feeling is a part of the peaceful love I feel or something entirely different.
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Years ago during one of my life coach trainings the leader shared, "The future creates the present". I thought I really understood what that meant and interestingly, I would share that as a quote and be met with bewildered eyes and confusion. I realize now that I liked the quote because it helped me to get through whatever struggle I was facing. I knew that at some point on the other side of the struggle I would be able to look back and say "wow I'm grateful for that struggle". Somehow knowing that at some point in the future I would be able to say that, made the journey easier. The truth is that in the face of adversity I was constantly resisting what was going on in the moment. What ever situation was happening, I did not want it to be that way and I would wish that it was different.