I had an interesting experience / awareness the other day. In recent months I have been getting clearer about some key questions surrounding my coaching practice. A lot of this awareness revolves around marketing and branding and message. In regards to sharing my message I have been experiencing some significant internal resistance, even though I am very excited about supporting clients and sharing. In discussing this situation with my pair bonded partner (this is a cool way to say girlfriend) she helped me to uncover an unconscious belief I had around marketing. I was a little surprised and at the same time relieved to bring this belief into the light.
"Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see"
So here is the story in a nutshell. When posting and sharing on Facebook it often feels empty and disconnected. I would post something and hope that somebody would like or share or comment. Which does often happen, but I wanted more feedback and interaction. All of this was a confusing experience and often disheartening experience, which results in me posting for a while and then stopping and giving up. In sharing this experience I also realized that in my work in the physical world, I thrive when I have an actual human in front of me. The result is often deep connection, exchange and instant feedback. Give me an audience or a group and I thrive. Which is funny to say as I consider myself an introvert, and used to be literally terrified of people and groups. So in the conversation with my girlfriend I was asked how I felt about marketing. What eventually came out of my mouth was "I feel like people / my friends on Facebook will think I am harassing them".... I think we both looked at each other in disbelief at this unconscious story. No wonder I was struggling with sharing. I immediately connected the dots. My core story once again revealed itself in a different aspect of my life. Then there was that usual "clunk" of awareness and understanding. Oh my god....of course. Yet another room of the mansion that needs to be dusted from top to bottom and the cob webs cleaned out of the corners, and the window opened to let in the fresh air and light. A process I have repeated many times in many different rooms. The story has a few layers but in the end it is about feeling disconnected, unsupported, unloved and uncared for. Nobody is there for me and life isn't worth living. The good news is once revealed, it's much easier to move forward.
Chances are that you have a situation in your life or a theme that is repeating. The 3 questions can help you to reveal your unconscious story or belief. I suggest finding a quiet space, connecting to your breath and grabbing a pen and paper. Simply allow yourself to automatically write answers to the questions without filtering what wants to spill out onto the paper.
Question #1 ~ What is the situation or challenge that you are curious about?
Question #2 ~ What is at risk? There may be perceived risks associated to this situation. Another way to look at the same question may be. What might happen? Or What do you fear will happen? Write about all sides of the situation.
Question #3 ~ What are the "self judgements" you are having in this situation?
Now that you've taken the time to freely write out your answers, take some time to read over what you wrote. Trust your intuition and highlight anything that jumps out at you. You may notice a theme throughout your answers or tidbits throughout, that add up to a clear awareness. Or you may not see anything. In that case I would suggest just leaving the process and coming back to it later. There is no right way to do this and sometimes everything is just as it should be. Trust your inner guidance to take you on exactly the journey that you need.
If you uncover an unconscious belief, the best thing you can do is to re-write the story in an empowering way that allows you to take a simple next step or opens the door to clear actions. The cycle of change is to uncover awareness and then take an empowered action. Rinse and repeat.
If you struggled with the above exercise feel free to contact me as I offer a Free 30 minute coaching session that can bring you some clarity and allow you to experience coaching first hand.
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