As a man, it has been my experience that open and honest communication is something that doesn't come easily for most men. I am very grateful for the many pieces of learning and the experiences, which have allowed me to embrace the idea of being vulnerable and sharing my truth. However, without these skills, I often isolated myself in my thoughts and fears.
As men we are genetically programmed to be strong and to provide and take care of our families and those that are important to us. The idea of being vulnerable and openly sharing, when things aren't going well creates much inner conflict. Emotions such as; shame, guilt and fear are stirred up when we feel inferior or are facing struggle. We isolate ourselves and put on a brave face and say that everything is fine. In relationships, we isolate ourselves on an island with our inner truth that goes unspoken. We are unable to create true authentic connection with our partners,because all that we are experiencing, is energetically sitting between us. We literally shield ourselves in relationships. The act of lowering our shield is the equivalent of lowering our shield in battle. The price of being exposed seems to great and to much of a risk.
Below is one of my favourite TED talks, Brene Brown shares a very powerful message. While her message is primarily focused on women it is equally true for men. Vulnerability is key, in allowing magic to occur in our lives. When we shield ourselves, we are also pushing away all the good things that are trying to come towards us.