I spent the majority of my life judging myself for being different than others. I saw the world very differently and had different interests. I also thought that I needed to be like others and tried to be like them. This resulted in a lot of inner conflict. I created beliefs and judgments from what I experienced externally. When I reflect back on my childhood, I can remember so many situations where I got into trouble for being me. I lived in a world where adults said things like "Why can't you be more like...."
I judge all the systems we are involved in, that seem to disconnect us from ourselves and each other. Teachers give us report cards. Employers give us performance reviews. We play sports that create winners and losers. We are compared to our siblings and friends and the list could go on and on. In my heart I never really bought in to the story of try harder and be like everyone else. In my mind I created a reality that judged every situation I found myself in. All of these experiences and others, created an interesting paradox in my life. I experienced a deep need for connection and at the same time the only way I could feel safe was to disconnect.
The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It's our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” ~ Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
I spent a lot of time on this journey of personal growth searching for powerful ways of being. What I didn't realize, was I was using the wrong definition of power. Intuitively this always felt wrong and yet I couldn't reconcile the feelings. The most powerful way that we can "be" in this world, is to simply be ourselves. A new definition of power is; to authentically and vulnerably show up, with our heart on our sleeve, speaking and living our truth. The more I connect with my truth, the more I am unaffected by external influences and beliefs.
Connect to You
Self Awareness ~ In order to connect to you, you must go on a journey. A journey that starts with self awareness. You must become frustrated and tired of the way things are. Or something will happen that brings you to this cross roads. Either way, you realize that something must change and you surrender to the journey.
Loving Your Inner Critic ~ The part of you that creates drama and strife and disconnection. The part of you that tells a story which is made up of hidden your core beliefs, judging everything you do. You must come to love this part of yourself that needs love and acceptance.
Discover Your Truth ~ What is it you must have? What are your deepest needs and desires? What will you take a stand for in the world. This is that search for the ways of being that make you feel the most alive. The ways of being that when you are connected to them time disappears. Saying "Yes" to the aspects of yourself you thought you had to disown to fit in to the world around you.
Embracing Your Shadows ~ Our hidden beliefs and views of the world, create our reality. This hidden story is literally projected out into our world. On this journey there is a deep desire to integrate all of these hidden beliefs so that we can return to wholeness. What we don't notice or acknowledge will continue to create separation and drama in our lives. This phase is about shining a light on the beliefs that have literally been hiding in the shadows.
Your Inner Guide ~ You are now ready to meet and connect with your inner guide. This is your authentic essence. As a child, you were this essence and it was how you saw the world. Pure innocence and wonder. As a child you had a unique way of engaging the world. You get to re-connect to this essence and bring that out into the your everyday world. You get to be YOU!
You in Action!
It has been my experience that in order to change the world around me, I must begin by changing myself. I have had to stop and take an honest look at my weaknesses and learn to honour my strengths. I believe that by doing this inner work on myself that I can authentically show up and connect with others. This shift / change creates a space for magic to happen!
Love After Love