Years ago in one of my coaching courses the leader made this statement; "Fulfillment Is A Radical Act". I think I have written about this before, and tonight I am really inspired to write about this topic again. My radical act began almost 10 yrs ago after an interesting series of intuitions, signs and just the right support. I found myself sitting in the lobby of a hotel wondering whether I had made a good decision. Had I signed up for another Amway type of get rich quick scheme? Been there done that. I went upstairs to the room where the course was being held and sat down in one of the chairs. I was "all in" and at the same time curious about what I had signed up for. About 15 minutes into the course I took a deep breath and I could feel my heart smiling. I had found my tribe, my people, my calling. For the first time in my life I was excited about something and that something was co-active life coaching.
During my life I have been given the following labels: Introvert, Sensitive, Loner, Quiet, Shy, Disconnected. These are the core labels and I am sure there are many others. At this point in my life, I feel like those labels are actually symptoms which don't align with the suggested life path we are asked to follow. My judgement is, I live in a world that expects me to fit a prescribed mould. It's no wonder that I spent so much time feeling anxious and overwhelmed.
I spent the majority of my life judging myself for being different than others. I saw the world very differently and had different interests. I also thought that I needed to be like others and tried to be like them. This resulted in a lot of inner conflict. I created beliefs and judgments from what I experienced externally. When I reflect back on my childhood, I can remember so many situations where I got into trouble for being me. I lived in a world where adults said things like "Why can't you be more like...."
I think being a parent is an area of my life which presents a deep opportunity for growth and awareness. I have been humbled by my mistakes and enlightened by the teaching that my kids have held for me. I deeply want the best for my kids and I also want to shield them from the pain that I experienced. I often held the belief that because I was older and had life experience, it gave me permission to impose my beliefs onto my children. This belief would often lead to conflict.
I came into this world with childlike innocence and wonder, trusting everyone and everything. Then at some point my world view began to change, it was no longer safe to simply be me. I started to judge myself based on the expectations and judgement of others. I started to compare myself to others and in this comparison made myself wrong. This inner story snowballed and silently affected my experiences and relationships. Then one day I started to question this story. Does this sound familiar?
This week Robin Williams gave us the gift of a collective wake up call. Will we press the snooze button? We could easily have a discussion about any of the following topics; suicide, depression, anxiety, loneliness the list goes on. All of the topics I just mentioned are symptoms, that invite us to look a little deeper. I have spent a lot of time this week reflecting on how I have felt over the years and how far I have come. To be honest its difficult to truly connect to what
Over the years it has become easier to openly share my stories and my fears and feel like I have nothing to hide. While this is my truth, it is most certainly not everyone's truth. I had forgotten how difficult it can be to share with others and be vulnerable. Creating a safe space where authentic sharing and reflection can happen is a real passion of mine. Fire represents the intense courage and risk required to be authentic, open and present in our interactions. When the person you are speaking to opens their heart and lets down their shield a different fire begins
Everything has some sort of cycle or rotation. Days become nights which return to day. Winter becomes spring and then summer and fall. Cycles occur in small and in big ways and within the cycle there is always some sort of transformation. These cycles occur in our lives as well and are calling us towards a fuller expression of ourselves and inviting us to experience joy and purpose.
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