Lost at 40 (ish) happened for me, a few weeks before my 41st birthday. I had been on the path of personal growth and awareness for many years. At the time, I was working for Starbucks as a manager, I walked into the store like I had done so many times before, but this time was different. I experienced an intense feeling of anxiety in my heart and a deep knowing that I was done.... I could no longer continue on the path of working there; in an environment that I now know and understand, was completely overwhelming for my nervous system. I imagine that for others the only choice would have been to keep going, regardless of what my body was screaming. Luckily for me, in previous years I had been able to experience the contrast of following my heart vs. following a career. So when the intense feeling came, I instantly knew what it meant. My next step was immediately going to the medical clinic which was two doors down. The clinic was usually full of people waiting to see a doctor and the waits were usually quite long. The clinic was empty... I went in to see the doctor immediately and not long after, I left with a note for 2 weeks away from work. What transpired after that was what I referred to as my "Stop Therapy". The doctor said that it was quite normal to have this type of experience at this phase of life. For me, I am grateful that it was an immediately answered wake up call. I imagine for others the phone keeps ringing and causes much pain, confusion, despair and powerlessness. I used my benefits to go see a counsellor and began to explore and review my life experiences and understand my childhood experiences. I slowed right down and took long walks in nature and for the first time truly stopped to reflect. Two weeks off, became months off of work and an experience that was a real turning point in my life. I went from making $60K + / yr to less than $20K /yr but I had found a profound level of happiness and freedom. Everyone jokes about the idea of a midlife crisis. I wonder though, if it's the souls way of getting our attention at a key time in life.
"You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or a path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential." ~ Joseph Campbell
The Call to Find Purpose & Meaning
I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert