The struggle to speak our truth and share our voice in relationships is very real. When I reflect back on my early years in relationship I simply felt I could not say anything. The main reason would be that for much of my younger years I witnessed and felt just how deeply words can hurt someone. This experience created a deep fear around speaking my truth and hurting someone with my words. As we often do with our shadows, I went to the extreme opposite and suppressed my voice. When I did share my voice, I would usually share with anger just like I had witnessed.
Conscious communication is about awakening awareness of our impact on others and our relationships. The key is to become aware of ourselves and have a slow solid look in the mirror. The list below is intended to show the variety of ways that we can deepen our connection with ourselves and allow our unique voice to surface. When we truly know ourselves and love ourselves the voice begins to emerge quite naturally.
I have recently had several conversations with folks who are really not enjoying aspects of their lives. Most of the time it revolves around lack of joy in the workplace and not being treated fairly. On a deeper level, there is a gentle voice with a vision for something different, the voice of your soul calling you towards a different life. The lack of joy in the workplace is merely the symptom of a spiritual calling.
I recently went to see the Chiropractor and amongst other things she noticed that I was very blocked in my upper back and shoulders. As I physically released all the energy stored there, I was drawn to have a look at this as a metaphor for how I support others (on my shoulders). I like to think that I have developed boundaries over the years in terms of what I do for others. What I noticed however, is that I continue to hold energy for others in small ways. I worked as a Manager in foodservice for over 27 years. I excelled by putting others first and in the process I struggled to get my own needs met.
The definition of intuition that I use the most is; “The knowing of something, without prior knowledge or experience”. If I go to Wikipedia I find this definition; “Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without proof, evidence, or conscious reasoning, or without understanding how the knowledge was acquired”. One of my teachers added this tidbit; “Your intuition is always right, its your interpretation that may be off”.
One of the cornerstones of the coaching model in which I studied, (The Coaches Training Institute) is that “People are Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole." In a nutshell this means; we are not broken, we don’t need fixing, all that we need is within us and we have the ability to overcome our circumstances. I love this cornerstone and when I’m coaching clients I am always tethered to this truth. For some strange reason, in everyday life it is much more challenging to remember.
I had an interesting experience / awareness the other day. In recent months I have been getting clearer about some key questions surrounding my coaching practice. A lot of this awareness revolves around marketing and branding and message. In regards to sharing my message I have been experiencing some significant internal resistance, even though I am very excited about supporting clients and sharing. In discussing this situation with my pair bonded partner (this is a cool way to say girlfriend) she helped me to uncover an unconscious belief I had around marketing. I was a little surprised and at the same time relieved to bring this belief into the light.
I recently had a conversation that gave me some powerful insight in regards to the human desire for purpose and meaning. Let’s start by connecting to the word. Personally, I notice the word “Purpose” being used all around me. While I do have some reservations about the word I do feel like it is easily relatable. That said you can easily interchange with any of the following; dharma, meaning, deepest desires, souls calling, nature, mission, truth etc. Whatever word calls to your heart, know that when I say “purpose” I am also referring to your word.
Everyday in every moment, the story of your life is playing out. What genre is your story; comedy, action, drama, soap opera? What type of character are you playing in your story? Are there characters in your story that are needing to be written in and out? What is the sound track of your story? I believe that the most exciting part of your story may be waiting to be written. The script is always open to being revised and embellished. You are always able to change the genre and choose a different character to be you!
The invitation is to take some time to be with your script. Perhaps you could block off a period of time and reflect on your script. You could walk or sit in nature or you could find a quiet space to just be. Are you ready to create your plot twist?
I noticed over the years that when things were troubling me, I energetically carried them along on my journey. At some point I was given the metaphor of baggage that held all these experiences and stories. This metaphorical baggage, kept me connected to my past, weighed on me and prevented me from moving forward. I adapted and become comfortable with all the extra weight. When I became aware of the impact of this practice I found some different ways to release the energy. Going forward I created new ways to release situations as they occurred. Below you will find several of these. My suggestion would be to try the ones that feel right to you and incorporate whatever ritual or ideas come to you in the moment. Give yourself full permission to create your own process by following your intuition.